conversation with monsieur elderly frenchman #2

monsieur elderly frenchman, having remembered his username, continues to have problems logging into the email account he set up at the library’s computer class.

me: (after several more unsuccessful login attempts) are you sure you remember your password?

M.E.F: yes.

me: I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong then.

him: but password is right! it’s fiddlesticks!*

(people start looking up from their computers)

me: no, don’t tell me that.

him: i put fiddlesticks! fiddlesticks is password! (writes “fiddlesticks” down for good measure and holds it up for me) see? fiddlesticks!!

me: shhhh! passwords are secret! secret!

him: oh.

*not his real password

conversation with mr. elderly frenchman #1

I had been helping him interloan books written in French, a rather complicated process involving lots of typing and head-scratching, since the interloan catalog stubbornly refuses to understand French.

Mr. E.F.: merci beaucoup!

me: (trying to be impressive but drawing giant blank)… OUI!

Mr. E.F.: (chuckles and walks away)

me: wait…au revoir!!

Mr. E.F.: Au revoir!

I wish I knew how to say ‘you’re welcome’ in French.

(retro) conversation with todd #1

my beloved and i are sitting at his desk in the studio, waiting for the weekend field trip to leave.

todd: (meanders up) do either of you happen to have a packet of mayonnaise?

us: ….no

todd: (wandering sadly away) i just hate a dry sandwich.

conversation with todd* #2

*not his real name

me: (sits innocently at architecture convention, waiting for beloved to finish something or other)

todd: (walks up to me and lurks in my line of vision)

me: hi

todd: hi

me: how’s it going

him: (reverent silence) …I met someone

me: oh?

him: yeah. we’re going to hang out. i really like her.

me: well, that’s great.

him: yeah, she says she’s seeing someone…but she didn’t use the word ‘boyfriend’ so i think this could be good. i really like her. she’s young too.

me: (speechless)